{"id":1475,"date":"2026-06-09T14:07:22","date_gmt":"2026-06-09T14:07:22","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/uspropertymoves.com\/?p=1475"},"modified":"2026-06-09T14:07:22","modified_gmt":"2026-06-09T14:07:22","slug":"i-loved-snl-but-it-wasnt-mine-why-rosebud-baker-left-the-show-after-having-a-baby-exclusive-excerpt","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/uspropertymoves.com\/?p=1475","title":{"rendered":"\u201cI Loved \u2018SNL,\u2019 But It Wasn\u2019t Mine\u201d: Why Rosebud Baker Left the Show After Having a Baby (Exclusive Excerpt)"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n<\/p>\n
\n

\n\tIt was fitting that I found out I was pregnant at 30 Rock, because that\u2019s where I learned how to operate with zero sleep, and learned that no matter how badly you want something, it might not happen for you when you want it to.<\/p>\n

Read more \u2018Elle\u2019 Makes Her Debut in Trailer for \u2018Legally Blonde\u2019 Prequel Series<\/a><\/p>\n

\n\tConvinced after two miscarriages that my uterus was basically decorative, I had started IVF during season 48 \u2014 a fun little process that made me want to murder my husband. I was storing fertility drugs in my office mini fridge, hiding used needles in my office trash can like a drug addict, bloated like a tick, hormones turning me into a werewolf, and what was Andy\u2019s contribution? Jerking off into a cup while scrolling through his phone.<\/p>\n

\n\t\u201cGood luck, honey!\u201d he said to me while handing his sample to the nurse.<\/p>\n

\n\tThen, after all the needles, the hormones, and the money we\u2019d never see again, I got pregnant the old-fashioned way: spousal rape. I\u2019m kidding. It was consensual. (But I love a historically accurate joke!)<\/p>\n

\n\tThe IVF had nothing to do with it. It happened during some forgettable Tuesday night quickie where we were both half-asleep and fully clothed.<\/p>\n

\n\tThe anxiety hit like a freight train after that. Would this one stick? Would the baby make it past the first trimester? Past the second? And then when they did, it was on to: Would they turn out like me? Would I turn out like me? How the FUCK, after having a baby, would I get back to being myself?<\/p>\n

\n\tI\u2019d fought so hard to become this person who\u2019d earned a spot in the SNL<\/em> writers\u2019 room and on stages around the country. Survived my sister\u2019s death. Crawled out of alcoholism. Escaped \u201cWhiskey Fists\u201d Cain who, I shit you not, opened a boxing gym after we broke up \u2014 so I guess we both found our purpose. I\u2019d built a career, landed my dream job, was pregnant, and once again, found myself staring at the ceiling, about to punch through to . . . what? The complete erasure of everything I\u2019d built?<\/p>\n

\n\tTen and a half months after taking that test, I\u2019d find out.<\/p>\n

\n\tMinnow was in her bassinet. Six weeks had passed since my C-section, and even though I technically had two weeks of maternity leave left, I felt like I needed to be back at work. Nobody said that explicitly, but I couldn\u2019t get a straight answer about how much time people typically took off. It seemed like they didn\u2019t take any. I was told a story about a writer who was still making edits to a sketch while in labor and bouncing on an exercise ball.<\/p>\n

\n\tSo I returned, anxious to get back in the game. I had grown an entire human being inside my body and brought her into the world. I should have felt like a God. Limitless. Invincible. A creator of life itself. Instead, I felt an unfamiliar mix of apathy and abject fear. Fear because I couldn\u2019t get myself to care the way I had even six weeks prior, and apathy because, well, I\u2019d been through a paradigm-shift.<\/p>\n

\n\tMy writing suffered. The sketches I submitted didn\u2019t make it to the table read. I lost confidence.<\/p>\n

\n\tOne day before we were about to go on a mid-season break, a male colleague asked if I had any plans.<\/p>\n

\n\tI opened my mouth to answer, but all I could summon was a heavy sigh.<\/p>\n

\n\tHe clocked my hundred-yard stare and replied, \u201cOh that\u2019s right, you\u2019re a mom now,\u201d before turning to ask someone else what fun things they would be doing over the break.<\/p>\n

\n\tI was there, but I wasn\u2019t. I felt like a coat rack.<\/p>\n

\n\tI made it through season 49, but I was pretty disappointed with my output, so I threw myself back into stand-up. I was working on my second special, this time for Netflix. I\u2019d filmed the first half of it at the Comedy Cellar when I was eight and a half months pregnant. Now, I planned to go back there, eleven months after Minnow was born, and shoot the other half. The idea was to cut both performances together \u2014 two total hours \u2014 into one hour of edited material. I hoped it would give a funny, accurate, and honest depiction of pregnancy and postpartum life. I honestly wasn\u2019t sure if it would work, though. If it didn\u2019t, my backup plan was to put out the postpartum hour by itself.<\/p>\n

\n\tAfter shooting the second set, I was asked back to SNL<\/em> for the fiftieth anniversary season as a writer for \u201cWeekend Update\u201d instead of as a sketch writer. This was actually a huge win. It was my favorite part of the show, and the joke-dense segment was in my comfort zone as a writer. I felt like I knew what I was doing in a way I never had with sketch. I felt useful on \u201cWeekend Update,\u201d not just every once in a while, but every day. It was also a job that I could perform while juggling the release and promotion of my special, which was slated to come out in the middle of season 50. Thanks to an incredible editor named Kelly Lyon, the two separate hours of stand-up cut together beautifully for the special. Kelly had done parody commercials, music videos, and digital shorts at SNL<\/em>; edited all of John Mulaney\u2019s specials; and was herself a mom. In February 2025, The Mother Lode<\/em> debuted on Netflix. It was an hour of comedy that packed so much of my life into it and covered a set of highly sentimental life experiences without ever feeling sappy. I was proud of it in a lasting way that rarely happens for me with the things I make.<\/p>\n

\n\tAfter it came out, I sensed something beginning to shift in how I thought about my work, and my ambitions.<\/p>\n

\n\tI loved SNL<\/em>, but it wasn\u2019t mine.<\/p>\n

\n\tStand-up was.<\/p>\n

\n\tMinnow was.<\/p>\n

\n\tAnd if there was ever going to be a middle path \u2014 a way to balance motherhood and my career \u2014 I was going to have to be the one to carve it.<\/p>\n

\n\tIn June 2025, after season 50 wrapped, Andy, Minnow, and I embarked on a European stand-up tour.<\/p>\n

\n\tThe logistics were fun. Minnow was almost two, and we updated our riders (the list of things venues provide for artists) to include crayons, a ball, and some paper. I\u2019d wait backstage with Minnow while Andy performed, then he\u2019d bring me up, I\u2019d hand him our toddler like the crown jewels, and we\u2019d switch places.<\/p>\n

Read more Natalie Portman, Justine Triet and Jacques Audiard Sign Open Letter Opposing Boycott of Israeli Director Nadav Lapid<\/a><\/p>\n

\n\tTag-team parenting meets tag-team comedy.<\/p>\n

\n\tWe became true playground connoisseurs. Berlin, Amsterdam, London \u2014 we hit every slide and swing set. Out of fear of a lawsuit there\u2019s no way you\u2019d ever see a trampoline built into a sidewalk in New York City, but in Berlin they were everywhere. At Kensington Gardens, we spent two hours searching for Winnie the Pooh\u2019s house, checking every tree hollow, while a suspicious Minnow looked for a tiny door she could knock on.<\/p>\n

\n\tWe taught Minnow to say \u201cMoney!\u201d instead of \u201cCheese!\u201d for photos, because I\u2019d heard somewhere that Joan Rivers once recommended it, and we thought that was hilarious. We hadn\u2019t fully considered the optics of American capitalists wandering around Europe during the second Trump administration with a toddler screaming, \u201cMONEY! MONEY! MONEY!\u201d at every photo opportunity, but the looks we got were priceless.<\/p>\n

\n\tWhen I got home, I went to see Bill Burr perform in Glengarry Glen Ross, and I ran into his co-star Bob Odenkirk backstage. Bob wrote at SNL<\/em> in the late eighties and early nineties.<\/p>\n

\n\t\u201cYou still there?\u201d Bob asked me.<\/p>\n

\n\tMuch like when I meet another recovering alcoholic, I feel an ease when I\u2019m talking to someone who has written on the show. We\u2019ve been through the same shit, spent hundred-hour weeks in the same windowless room.<\/p>\n

\n\t\u201cYeah. Well . . .\u201d I said.<\/p>\n

\n\t\u201cWhat are you at, four years?\u201d<\/p>\n

\n\t\u201cYeah.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n\t\u201cThat\u2019s when I left.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n\t\u201cHow did you do it?\u201d<\/p>\n

\n\tHe said, with incredible simplicity, \u201cI just knew I really wanted a shot at performing, and I didn\u2019t see it happening there.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n\tThere\u2019s nothing like the clarity of hearing your own thoughts come out of someone else\u2019s older, wiser, and far more successful mouth.<\/p>\n

\n\tI didn\u2019t return to the show for season 51. In a funny way, writing at SNL<\/em> was almost a direct analogy for early motherhood. Working on the show and becoming a mom were dreams I hardly believed would ever happen. When they did, I wanted to soak up every moment, but was so sleep-deprived that my brain couldn\u2019t form new memories. Creatively, my world expanded. Socially, it contracted. I saw the same walls every day, and the same people inside of them. Sometimes, my relationships outside of those walls suffered \u2014 but to balance it out, my relationships inside those walls suffered too! Yet, when I walked out of 30 Rock \u2014 right as I was finishing early motherhood \u2014 I wished I\u2019d appreciated the time a little more, and that the magic of it all had lasted a little longer. Both experiences bonded me to the people I shared them with in profound ways that could never have happened otherwise.<\/p>\n

\nSNL<\/em> changes everyone\u2019s life who is lucky enough to touch it, but it changed mine in every conceivable way. With good health insurance I was able to give birth and take my kid to the doctor. I was able to get professional help figuring out I had postpartum depression \u2014 something I didn\u2019t do until right before I left the show, which underscores how much I was white-knuckling it through those last two years. I started taking Wellbutrin, which allowed me to put into perspective so much of the pervasive guilt and alienation I had felt in my personal and professional life. I even got approved to buy an apartment by a co-op board, who would\u2019ve assumed I was part of some money laundering scheme if it weren\u2019t for Lorne writing my recommendation letter.<\/p>\n

\n\tI used to fear that a stand-up comedy career and motherhood were too fundamentally demanding to coexist in my life. That each required too much from me, physically, to sustain doing both. But I\u2019ve learned too much about myself to worry about that anymore.<\/p>\n

\n\tI got sober; I left my abuser. I worked my ass off in comedy, put out two hour-long specials, wrote this book, and was on the staff of America\u2019s last remaining comedy institution. I grew and gave birth to a person who is completely dependent on me. I was ripped open, sewn up, and returned to work before the stitches dissolved. I put in twelve-hour days, came home, and learned the language of a person who had no language to speak. Then I taught that person an entire language. I never knew if I was doing any of this with any degree of skill. I just hoped that it would all work out.<\/p>\n

\n\tI don\u2019t believe that women are put on this earth to be mothers. I believe the choice to become a mother is equally as courageous as the choice not to be. It\u2019s important to me that my daughter knows that \u2014 that all women know that. We\u2019re creators, and whether we create children, ideas, music, businesses, cults, crimes, scams, cures for disease, or even just new ways to agitate people, I think we should take pride in that.<\/p>\n

\n\tTo me, the point of creative endeavors is discovery. Sometimes they\u2019re an attempt to discover the world; more often, they\u2019re an attempt to discover ourselves. I mostly do the second one. At the risk of sounding navel-gazey, I see my whole life as an effort to get closer to figuring out who I really am and what I really think. It\u2019s not a process with a finite ending. A part of me wishes it could happen in a linear way \u2014 that there would be a point of arrival at a nice, clean moment I could hold up like a photograph, witness my fully baked self, and say, \u201cThere she is! All done! She figured it out!\u201d But I know it doesn\u2019t happen that way. The closest I\u2019ll get to reaching final form is when Andy pulls the plug on his mean and filthy wife. Until then, I\u2019ll keep exploring, keep following my own instincts. Even when they threaten the stability of the present moment.<\/p>\n

\n\tThat\u2019s what I believe living a creative life is about: being willing to sacrifice some degree of comfort for the sake of discovery, for the sake of what you love. It\u2019s not comfortable to cart a toddler from state to state, country to country, to get onstage and perform my little idea-puzzles, trying to find a diamond in a pile of rocks. But I also think there\u2019s more to it than that. I\u2019m modeling something for Minnow that I want her to see, which is that life is worth examining.<\/p>\n

\n\tPeople sometimes look at us on the road together and ask: \u201cHow do you tour and do standup with a toddler? It seems so exhausting!\u201d<\/p>\n

\n\tThey aren\u2019t wrong. I\u2019m often exhausted.<\/p>\n

\n\tBut how lucky am I, to be exhausted by love?<\/p>\n

\n\tExcerpted from FULLY BAKED:\u00a0A Messy Memoir<\/em>by Rosebud Baker.\u00a0 Copyright \u00a9 by Rosebud Baker.\u00a0 Reprinted by permission of Gallery Books, an imprint of Simon & Schuster, LLC.<\/p>\n

Read more U.K. Begins Formal Review of Paramount-Warner Bros. Megadeal<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

In a chapter from her new memoir ‘Fully Baked,’ Rosebud Baker writes about the indirect pressure to return to SNL after maternity leave.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1474,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[36,52,53],"class_list":["post-1475","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-interesting","tag-books","tag-saturday-night-live","tag-snl"],"yoast_head":"\n\u201cI Loved \u2018SNL,\u2019 But It Wasn\u2019t Mine\u201d: Why Rosebud Baker Left the Show After Having a Baby (Exclusive Excerpt) - US Property Moves<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/uspropertymoves.com\/?p=1475\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"\u201cI Loved \u2018SNL,\u2019 But It Wasn\u2019t Mine\u201d: Why Rosebud Baker Left the Show After Having a Baby (Exclusive Excerpt) - 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