{"id":1193,"date":"2026-06-04T14:37:14","date_gmt":"2026-06-04T14:37:14","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/uspropertymoves.com\/?p=1193"},"modified":"2026-06-04T14:37:14","modified_gmt":"2026-06-04T14:37:14","slug":"its-a-sickness-nikki-glaser-wanda-sykes-and-the-stand-up-comedy-roundtable","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/uspropertymoves.com\/?p=1193","title":{"rendered":"\u201cIt\u2019s A Sickness\u201d: Nikki Glaser, Wanda Sykes and the Stand-Up Comedy Roundtable"},"content":{"rendered":"
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\n\tGather five of the most relevant comedians working today and ask what scares them most, and the answers vary. Complacency comes up. So does cancellation. \u201cAnd sometimes people don\u2019t hear comedy for comedy,\u201d says Marc Maron. \u201cThey\u2019re like, \u2018Well, I don\u2019t really believe that.\u2019 And I\u2019m like, \u2018Good, because it\u2019s a fucking joke, stupid.\u2019 \u201d The comment scored big laughs, as did so much else during THR<\/em>\u2018s Stand-Up Comedy Emmy Roundtable, which took place in early May at The Georgian Hotel in Santa Monica. Maron was joined by Nikki Glaser, Wanda Sykes, Leanne Morgan and Julio Torres, all of whom have released specials in the past year, for a wide-ranging, often raunchy conversation about comedy, politics, bombing and, yes, Glaser\u2019s desire to be, as she puts it, \u201cfuckable,\u201d but \u201cnot actually fucked.\u201d<\/p>\n

Read more \u201860 Minutes\u2019 Tear Down: The Dueling Views on Bari Weiss\u2019 Rebuild Plan<\/a><\/p>\n

\nWhat was the last experience you had where you thought, in that moment, \u201cWell, at least this will make good comedy\u201d<\/strong>?<\/strong>\n<\/p>\n

\nNIKKI GLASER<\/strong> Marc? I feel like you mine your pain very frequently.<\/p>\n

\nMARC MARON<\/strong> Well, I\u2019ve been talking to myself more than usual. In the moment, I don\u2019t think it\u2019s very funny, but I\u2019m starting to think maybe this is an avenue that I can explore. I don\u2019t know if this sounds sad or not, but I have three cats and I\u2019m not talking to them. Even when they\u2019re like, \u201cWhat\u2019s going on?\u201d I\u2019m like, \u201cNo, I\u2019m going to keep this to myself. It\u2019s between me and me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\nJULIO TORRES <\/strong>\u201cThis isn\u2019t for you!\u201d<\/p>\n

\nGLASER<\/strong> What was the moment you realized, \u201cI\u2019m not talking to the cats. I\u2019m talking to myself\u201d? Did they go, like, \u201cReeaarr,\u201d and you\u2019re like, \u201cNot you\u201d?<\/p>\n

\nMARON<\/strong> When you live alone with animals, you do have the moment of realization that you build personalities for them and say things like, \u201cHow you feeling, Charlie? Are you comfortable or are you upset?\u201d There\u2019s no answer. They\u2019re not feeling any of those things. So, what I\u2019m exploring is this new level of loneliness that I\u2019m experiencing. I thought maybe I\u2019d share that with everybody. I need friends \u2026<\/p>\n

\nWANDA SYKES<\/strong> We\u2019re here, Marc. We\u2019re here.<\/p>\n

\nNikki, you recently said that stand-up is like sex.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\nGLASER<\/strong> When I\u2019m onstage, I behave in ways and say things that I would never say offstage. Similar to sex, I feel unbridled. I feel like I can make different noises and faces and do things with my body that I would never do in front of my friends and family or the general public. Having to then hear feedback about anything I did onstage always feels to me like someone after sex being like, \u201cRemember when you said that one thing?\u201d No, no, no, no, no. I don\u2019t want to hear what I said. There\u2019s a detachment for me, and I\u2019m kind of embarrassed by that person. So, I\u2019m glad that everyone watches it, but I don\u2019t want to watch it and I don\u2019t want to hear what you think.<\/p>\n

\nTORRES <\/strong>Are you editing it?<\/p>\n

\nGLASER <\/strong>Yes. It\u2019s the most painful thing I\u2019ve ever done in my life.<\/p>\n

\nSYKES <\/strong>I like it.<\/p>\n

\nTORRES <\/strong>I like too.<\/p>\n

\nLeanne, for years, you were told you weren\u2019t \u201cedgy\u201d enough for places like Comedy Central. What was the feedback and what did you do about it?<\/strong><\/p>\n

\nLEANNE MORGAN<\/strong> Well, my darling, when I started doing this 27 years ago, I was in a kitten heel and a capri pant with a bird on it and talking about somebody doo-dooing on a T-ball field, which was a good bit. But Comedy Central was big then and they didn\u2019t want me, none of the festivals [did either], but I\u2019d get a development deal every once in a while for a sitcom and it was enough to keep me going.<\/p>\n

\nWhat kind of feedback were the rest of you pushing back on as you were coming up?<\/strong><\/p>\n

\nMARON<\/strong> People have said I was too angry. At that time I was. Not anymore. Not angry at all. Sweet, humble, just wide open.<\/p>\n

\nGLASER<\/strong> You have softened.<\/p>\n

\nTORRES<\/strong> But they\u2019re only ever comparing it to the most recent successful thing they saw. It\u2019s like, \u201cYou\u2019re too angry.\u201d Based on what? This funny, sweet guy you just saw two minutes ago?<\/p>\n

\nMARON <\/strong>Or based on the fact that you\u2019re upsetting people.<\/p>\n

\nTORRES <\/strong>OK, sure.<\/p>\n

\nHow about you, Wanda?<\/strong><\/p>\n

\nSYKES<\/strong> \u201cYou\u2019re a funny female comic.\u201d It\u2019s so annoying. I can\u2019t just be a funny comic? We\u2019re always put into a category of female comics, like what we\u2019re doing is not on the same level.<\/p>\n

\nGLASER <\/strong>There\u2019s a new level to it, too, where I feel like there\u2019s a lot of manosphere guys who will like one female comic and that will be proof that they do<\/em> like women. And I\u2019ve been the one before and it feels nice even from people you don\u2019t agree with \u2014 but it also doesn\u2019t, because you know you\u2019re going to be replaced by the next one.<\/p>\n

\nMARON <\/strong>But you transcended it. Once you elevate to where you don\u2019t need that approval, you\u2019re bigger than them.<\/p>\n

\nGLASER<\/strong> I don\u2019t ever feel that way.<\/p>\n

\nMARON<\/strong> Oh, you should.<\/p>\n

\nGLASER <\/strong>But who wants to let that in and feel like, \u201cI\u2019ve made it\u201d?<\/p>\n

\nMARON<\/strong> Seems like there are some people that do enjoy that.<\/p>\n

\nGLASER <\/strong>I don\u2019t want to be one of those people. Not [so much] enjoy it, but think you\u2019re cool.<\/p>\n

\nMARON <\/strong>Nate Bargatze is opening a theme park.<\/p>\n

\nGLASER <\/strong>I know.<\/p>\n

\nTORRES <\/strong>Opening a theme park?! Where?<\/p>\n

\nMORGAN <\/strong>Where I was raised, outside of Nashville.<\/p>\n

\nGLASER <\/strong>I\u2019m going to do a ski resort. <\/p>\n

\nMARON <\/strong>There you go! I think that\u2019s accepting success.<\/p>\n

\nWhat would you hear, Julio?<\/strong><\/p>\n

\nTORRES <\/strong>One time a guy introduced me like, \u201cAnd now this next guy is going to come out and he\u2019s going to do his thing.\u201d<\/p>\n

\nSYKES <\/strong>Oh!<\/p>\n

\nTORRES <\/strong>But I did. I think a lot of people want to define what comedy is, so if someone is too angry, that\u2019s not comedy. If someone is playing with the form, that\u2019s not comedy. One time, it was like, \u201cWell, he\u2019s sitting. It\u2019s not stand-up comedy.\u201d<\/p>\n

\nGLASER <\/strong>Oh my God.<\/p>\n

\nMARON <\/strong>Those people are the worst. The only requirement to stand-up is\u00a0\u2014<\/p>\n

\nTORRES <\/strong>Time.<\/p>\n

\nMARON <\/strong>And figuring out how to be funny.<\/p>\n

\nGLASER <\/strong>That\u2019s why you get into it, but once you get agents and people who are weighing in and want you to be marketable, I got a lot of, \u201cDon\u2019t be dirty.\u201d<\/p>\n

\nTORRES <\/strong>Don\u2019t be dirty?!<\/p>\n

\nGLASER<\/strong> And not only because you can\u2019t be on network TV talking like that, but also that\u2019s what all female comics do, and so you\u2019re doing the easy thing. I go, \u201cWell, is it easy for other women to talk about what their vaginas look like onstage?\u201d It\u2019s easy for me, but why wouldn\u2019t you want me to do something that comes easy to me?<\/p>\n

\nWho do you hear that from?<\/strong><\/p>\n

\nMARON <\/strong>Bookers, club owners, agents \u2026<\/p>\n

\nGLASER <\/strong>And TV. Early on, because of my stand-up, I wasn\u2019t chosen to do a lot of things on network TV because they\u2019re just worried that you might go off and talk about anal sex. You even go on radio and they\u2019re like, \u201cNow, this is a show where families are listening.\u201d I\u2019m like, \u201cI know where I am.\u201d<\/p>\n

\nMORGAN <\/strong>I\u2019d get reminded of that, and I\u2019m a clean comic. People would say, \u201cOn the radio \u2026\u201d Or if I did a corporate gig, \u201cYou know you can\u2019t do that.\u201d I\u2019m like, \u201cI\u2019m not an idiot.\u201d<\/p>\n

\nMARON<\/strong> Part of me is always a little dirty just to keep those people away. And by that, I mean success. But I\u2019ve done clean sets, because we all had to do them. If you were doing Letterman, you had to be clean. I can do it. And I don\u2019t talk about dirty stuff as much as I used to because I\u2019m old. It doesn\u2019t age well.<\/p>\n

\nGLASER\u00a0<\/strong>It doesn\u2019t.<\/p>\n

\nNikki recently defined her aspirational self as follows: \u201cI want to be someone who\u2019s smart and fuckable and adorable and likable and seems nice, but is saying awful things.\u201d First, did I miss anything?<\/strong><\/p>\n

\nGLASER <\/strong>Whew, I did not practice that before I said it.<\/p>\n

\nTORRES<\/strong> But that is you.<\/p>\n

\nGLASER <\/strong>I do want to be liked by everyone because it\u2019s a sickness, but I also want to say things that make people feel less alone. I always felt like I was weird, and no one was really an example of that on TV \u2014 the people that were my role models. And yeah, I want to be fuckable because it makes people treat you better and give you more money for things. I don\u2019t actually want to be fucked. I want to be clear about that. I don\u2019t want to be penetrated. I just want the stuff that comes with people wanting to.<\/p>\n

\nMARON<\/strong> Yeah.<\/p>\n

\nGLASER<\/strong> It feels weird to say that, but who doesn\u2019t want to be liked? I\u2019ve read the room and when you look prettier, people are nicer to you.<\/p>\n

\nTORRES<\/strong> I think you\u2019re literally listing what 99.99 percent of the people working in the entertainment industry wish for, but you\u2019re just saying it.<\/p>\n

\nHow do the rest of you want to be seen?<\/strong><\/p>\n

\nMARON<\/strong> Fuckable is good. I think I do want people to like me, but I seem to want them to work for it a bit. I\u2019m also very clear that not everyone is going to. There\u2019s a part of me that thinks, \u201cI\u2019m for everybody.\u201d But I know that\u2019s not true.<\/p>\n

\nMORGAN <\/strong>And there are going to be people that are not for me.<\/p>\n

\nSYKES <\/strong>Yeah, and I\u2019m OK with it.<\/p>\n

\nMORGAN <\/strong>It took me a long time to get to that place. But I\u2019m not for everyone.<\/p>\n

\nWho are you not for?<\/strong><\/p>\n

\nMORGAN<\/strong> I\u2019d say 20-year-old boys are probably not into me.<\/p>\n

\nTORRES<\/strong> Oh, I don\u2019t know!<\/p>\n

\nMORGAN <\/strong>I\u2019m a mom and I talk about mom things.<\/p>\n

\nTORRES<\/strong> But they have moms.<\/p>\n

\nMORGAN <\/strong>They do have moms, you\u2019re right. They\u2019ve been in the back of a minivan.<\/p>\n

\nSYKES <\/strong>It changes, too, because I\u2019m experiencing this now where younger people are showing up at my shows, but they\u2019re bringing their moms.<\/p>\n

\nWhen talking about \u201cyour people,\u201d how do you define that? <\/strong><\/p>\n

\nMARON<\/strong> It\u2019s multigenerations of hand-wringers \u2014 sensitive, creative, angry people that feel like they don\u2019t have a voice in the world. A lot of them are politically active or at least engaged and want to feel a little better.<\/p>\n

\nSYKES<\/strong> It\u2019s down that same line for me, but I get women and the LGBTQ audience, too. It\u2019s why I wanted to do my special at my school, which is an HBCU, because I want my audience to see where I\u2019m from. And also for my HBCU to see, \u201cOh, OK, you\u2019re still down. You still with us.\u201d<\/p>\n

\nMORGAN <\/strong>I feel like my demographic is everybody in the middle of the U.S. that feels ignored by Hollywood. It\u2019s women my age, but they also bring their grandmother and their daughter.<\/p>\n

\nWho are \u201cyour people,\u201d Julio?<\/strong><\/p>\n

\nTORRES <\/strong>If someone has fun hair, there\u2019s a good chance. I can see them coming and I know. I also love crossing the street and seeing a shy girl with her tote bag just look at me and [smiles<\/em>]. But you, [to Glaser<\/em>] the way every gay man\u2019s eyes widen when they hear your name\u00a0\u2014<\/p>\n

\nGLASER<\/strong> I was just going to say, that\u2019s my ideal!<\/p>\n

\nTORRES <\/strong>Also, when I get asked if people can come in late to my show, I\u2019m like, \u201cThose are my people.\u201d Forgot they bought tickets to this, are coming five minutes before it ends, had a long day. Those are absolutely my people.<\/p>\n

\nWith a show of hands, who here gives a lot of thought to what they wear for a special?<\/strong><\/p>\n

Read more The Untold Saga Behind an Infamous Male Supermodel Cult<\/a><\/p>\n

\nALL<\/strong> (Raise hands<\/em>.)<\/p>\n

\nMARON<\/strong> I\u2019ve made so many mistakes.<\/p>\n

\nMORGAN<\/strong> Me too. Some doozies. My first Netflix special, I have on a dress that looks like the afghan on Roseanne\u2019s couch.<\/p>\n

\nMARON <\/strong>I once wore leather pants. Leather pants!<\/em><\/p>\n

\nGLASER <\/strong>That\u2019s great. It\u2019s like a tattoo you regret.<\/p>\n

\nWhat are you trying to telegraph with your outfits?<\/strong><\/p>\n

\nTORRES<\/strong> That I\u2019m like a put-upon little creature that was working and now has to talk to the audience.<\/p>\n

\nGLASER<\/strong> You get it right away!<\/p>\n

\nSYKES <\/strong>For me, it\u2019s not what I want to say with the clothes but it just matches the set. And I don\u2019t know why I waited till I\u2019m in my 60s to do more physical comedy \u2014 I\u2019m not trying to break a fucking hip \u2014 but now I have to make sure I can move around in the clothes, too.<\/p>\n

\nNikki, you\u2019ve said trying to be sexy and comedic at the same time doesn\u2019t work. Why, and is that changing?<\/strong><\/p>\n

\nGLASER<\/strong> There was a moment when I got my first Comedy Central show where I was like, \u201cI\u2019m going to just wear flannel shirts and T-shirts, very minimal makeup, chop my hair off.\u201d I\u2019d gotten notes like, \u201cLet\u2019s make girls not threatened by you.\u201d And it just wasn\u2019t me.<\/p>\n

\nTORRES <\/strong>Mm-hmm.<\/p>\n

\nGLASER <\/strong>I\u2019m on TV. I want to feel good. And I\u2019ve always wanted to be a pop star, so if I want to dress like a pop star, I\u2019m going to because it\u2019s fun. Other than Halloween, when do I get to dress sexy? Now I have an excuse to. So, I wear what makes me feel like a star, because sometimes backstage I\u2019m not feeling that way. Most of my life I\u2019m not.<\/p>\n

\nMORGAN <\/strong>Right.<\/p>\n

\nGLASER <\/strong>During my special, I took off my blazer [at some point] because I was insecure about the audience getting bored. It\u2019s like, here are some tits for a second, just something new to look at. But these places I\u2019m playing, there are sometimes concerts going on with screens and dancers and outfit changes\u00a0\u2014<\/p>\n

\nTORRES<\/strong> You should get backup dancers.<\/p>\n

\nGLASER<\/strong> I\u2019m going to on this next tour! I\u2019m trying to write music for backup dancers to perform because I want more spectacle. Not because I\u2019m insecure \u2014 I know I can do an hour of comedy and be entertaining \u2014 but these bigger venues, I want more. I want to use the screens. I want to do something bigger.<\/p>\n

\nWhat does bombing look like at this stage of your careers? <\/strong><\/p>\n

\nSYKES<\/strong> I don\u2019t bomb much, but whenever it\u2019s a charity, it\u2019s hard.<\/p>\n

\nTORRES<\/strong> Someone just did a speech about cancer\u00a0\u2014<\/p>\n

\nMORGAN<\/strong> Or hospice. I\u2019ve done that. Let\u2019s do a video on hospice, and then go, \u201cLeanne Morgan!\u201d<\/p>\n

\nSYKES<\/strong> Or they know nothing about comedy and what we need in order to perform. A stage would help. How about putting a pause on the bar?<\/p>\n

\nMORGAN<\/strong> It\u2019s like dinner theater. They don\u2019t stop.<\/p>\n

\nGLASER <\/strong>The big reason why you bomb if you bomb at our level is the setup. The sound is bad. It\u2019s daylight. The people that booked you have given different parameters of what\u2019s OK to say.<\/p>\n

\nMORGAN <\/strong>They play golf all day and they drink and they\u2019re exhausted, and now you\u2019re in a hotel ballroom 50 feet away from them. You can\u2019t see them. You can\u2019t connect with them. You\u2019re like, \u201cI wish somebody would shoot me while I\u2019m up here.\u201d<\/p>\n

\nGLASER <\/strong>I bombed in front of so many thought leaders on a beach in Cabo. It\u2019s was a summit for billionaires. Some group called, like, Figurative with no I\u2019s or whatever.<\/p>\n

\nTORRES <\/strong>That sounds horrible.<\/p>\n

\nGLASER<\/strong> This was after the Tom Brady roast, too. I was doing well. I went out and it was all these people and they were in a circle and seeing each other, so no one was comfortable laughing. And I picked the wrong material. Then I had to walk off the stage in heels and it was instantly sand and they didn\u2019t even applaud long enough for me to get off the stage, so you\u2019re just walking in silence.<\/p>\n

\nTORRES <\/strong>Sandy silence.<\/p>\n

\nWhat\u2019s the most combative or hilarious post-joke encounter you\u2019ve had?<\/strong><\/p>\n

\nTORRES <\/strong>I get defenders of colors. \u201cWell, people look good in navy blue. It\u2019s good for everyone\u2019s skin tone.\u201d I\u2019m like, \u201cSorry.\u201d<\/p>\n

\nMORGAN <\/strong>During COVID, I did say I don\u2019t like sugar in my corn bread and that caused a riff among some women.<\/p>\n

\nTORRES <\/strong>Wait, sugar in my corn bread, that\u2019s not an expression?<\/p>\n

\nMORGAN <\/strong>No. And I like corn bread without sugar in it, I was just saying it. I was bored, it was COVID. People fought!<\/p>\n

\nMARON<\/strong>\u00a0I get cat stuff. People have a lot of advice or they\u2019re mad about how I\u2019m doing things. And the parasocial reality of what we live in is annoying. Some of them are very smart people, but they believe that they have a relationship with you and it\u2019s a little nerve-wracking, especially if you don\u2019t have great personal boundaries and then all of a sudden you\u2019re spending your day going, like, \u201cWhat did that woman named Estelle mean? What did she know about how I treat my cats?\u201d<\/p>\n

\nWhere won\u2019t your audiences go with you?<\/strong><\/p>\n

\nMARON<\/strong> I push it lately because I get labeled as this progressive. I am a progressive person, but also I\u2019m an old, dirty man. I mean, I\u2019ve been in this business a long time, and half of it I was drunk. There\u2019s a part of me, now that I have this following of sensitive, socially concerned people, that wants to be like, \u201cYeah, but I\u2019m kind of dirty. You still like me now?\u201d<\/p>\n

\nMORGAN<\/strong> I don\u2019t think I\u2019m qualified to weigh in on politics. Nobody wants to know what I think, and I don\u2019t know half the time. I\u2019m just sitting here thinking about how to get through menopause.<\/p>\n

\nWanda, you wade into politics. Is there anyone in your life who\u2019d prefer that you dial it back?<\/strong><\/p>\n

\nSYKES<\/strong> My mom. She\u2019s like, \u201cWanda, I\u2019m just concerned with people out here so mean and hurtful.\u201d And I\u2019m like, \u201cMom, it\u2019s good.\u201d And then when that awful kidnapping happened \u2014 or we don\u2019t know what happened \u2014 to Savannah Guthrie\u2019s mom, my mom was like, \u201cHey, look, you out here saying stuff. \u2026\u201d I\u2019m like, \u201cMom, no one is going to take you. You\u2019re fine.\u201d<\/p>\n

\nMARON<\/strong> That\u2019s funny. My dad\u2019s weird with this stuff, too. My dad, for a long time, was like, \u201cMan, maybe don\u2019t tell them you\u2019re Jewish.\u201d I\u2019m like, \u201cI think that cat\u2019s out of the bag.\u201d<\/p>\n

\nTORRES <\/strong>At what point in your career was this?<\/p>\n

\nMARON<\/strong> Couple weeks ago.<\/p>\n

\nSYKES <\/strong>My audience, they just want to make sure it\u2019s funny. I can\u2019t go out there and just be preachy and ranting without it being funny.<\/p>\n

\nChris Rock recently said: \u201cThe thing I love about Nikki Glaser is she has the decency to be scared.\u201d What scares all of you?<\/strong>\n<\/p>\n

\nTORRES<\/strong> Saying it, I\u2019m being like, \u201cOoh, am I too scared to say it?\u201d But the fact that it\u2019s looking like, at one point very soon, only three people will own all of media. How is it going to diminish what we are able to say, if only a couple of people are owning not only what\u2019s on TV, but what\u2019s on our phone screens, the news that people watch, the algorithm that the children and the other people that are watching the news are scrolling through? I think it\u2019s naive to think, like, \u201cOh, well, there\u2019s always been people that own media.\u201d Right, there\u2019s been several people that own media, not just a couple. I don\u2019t know if it\u2019s scary yet, but it\u2019s definitely something that I worry about.<\/p>\n

\nSYKES <\/strong>For me, it\u2019s complacency and more on the part of the audience. Sometimes I\u2019m going in on something, maybe a social issue or a political issue, and you can feel the audience being like, \u201cOK, come on, I want to laugh about something silly now. Talk about sex or something.\u201d And you\u2019re like, \u201cYou guys are giving up already?\u201d<\/p>\n

\nMARON<\/strong> Sometimes I\u2019ll just tell them, \u201cThis is just the first 10 minutes. It\u2019s not going to be the whole show.\u201d<\/p>\n

\nSYKES <\/strong>I\u2019ve had people walk out, and I always say, \u201cLook, if you can\u2019t wait it out for five more minutes, you\u2019re going to miss some sweet dick jokes.\u201d <\/p>\n

\nTORRES<\/strong> \u201cFine, we\u2019ll come back.\u201d<\/p>\n

\nJulio, you\u2019ve attempted to make<\/strong> sense of the world using color as a tool. Before we wrap, I\u2019d like to do a little exercise: What color is, say, Leanne?<\/strong><\/p>\n

\nTORRES<\/strong> There\u2019s something very lavender, right?<\/p>\n

\nMORGAN<\/strong> I think I\u2019m very pretty in lavender.<\/p>\n

\nTORRES<\/strong> It has the spice of purple, but it\u2019s sweeter and more accessible.<\/p>\n

\nMORGAN<\/strong> Oh, you angel from heaven.<\/p>\n

\nTORRES <\/strong>There you go. She\u2019s pleased.<\/p>\n

\nGLASER <\/strong>Will you do me?<\/p>\n

\nTORRES<\/strong> Head-to-toe gold.<\/p>\n

\nGLASER<\/strong> Really? I\u2019ve been dying to ask you all day.<\/p>\n

\nTORRES <\/strong>Sparkly, sparkly gold.<\/p>\n

\nGLASER<\/strong> Oh, that\u2019s so nice.<\/p>\n

\nMORGAN<\/strong> You need a deal with Party City for your own Halloween costume.<\/p>\n

\nTORRES<\/strong> Or a bachelorette party line with Party City.<\/p>\n

\nGLASER<\/strong> Like, penis straws and stuff?<\/p>\n

\nMARON<\/strong> Penis hats.<\/p>\n

\nTORRES<\/strong> All of it. What happens at a bachelorette? It\u2019s trips?<\/p>\n

\nMARON<\/strong> Some of them go to a comedy club.<\/p>\n

\nMORGAN<\/strong> Yeah, I\u2019ve been in comedy clubs where they\u2019ve whipped each other with big penis balloons.<\/p>\n

\nTORRES<\/strong> During your act?<\/p>\n

\nMORGAN<\/strong> Yeah.<\/p>\n

\nGLASER<\/strong> Oh God.<\/p>\n

\nTORRES<\/strong> Did you say, \u201cGuys, cut it out with those penis balloons\u201d?<\/p>\n

\nMORGAN<\/strong> It was girls, and I go, \u201cYou\u2019re going to love that now, but one day that\u2019s not going to mean a thing to you. Just whip each other with it now.\u201d<\/p>\n

\nTORRES<\/strong> Have your laugh now.<\/p>\n

\nMORGAN<\/strong> That\u2019s not going to be your thing later. But y\u2019all enjoy!<\/p>\n

\nThis story first appeared in a June stand-alone issue of The Hollywood Reporter magazine. To receive the magazine, click here to subscribe.<\/em><\/p>\n

Read more The Lost \u2018Airbender\u2019: How Paramount\u2019s Movie Hack Spiraled Into a Crisis<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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